Self-control is essentially having mastery over your desires by not allowing what you want to determine where you’re going and what you do. Biblically, this is not for aesthetic purposes, like a Buddhist monk who believes the root of all suffering is desire and therefore seeks to remove any form of desire from his life. Instead, the Bible recognizes that many desires we have are natural and good; food, sex, security, etc; but they are not ultimate. Jesus explained this in the Sermon on the Mount:
“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
The issue is not what we want, or even what we need, but what we are seeking. Essentially then, self-control is the ability to resist or delay your desires for a greater purpose. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul uses the image of a runner training for a race:
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
If self-control is so obviously beneficial and even essential to the Christian life, why is it so difficult? Telling ourselves we need self-control seems a lot like telling the captain of a sinking ship he needs a boat without holes. It seems like we need self-control in order to exercise it. That doesn’t stop us from trying…and trying…and failing.
I am convinced that the problem is primarily a grammatical one. We continuously act as if the “self” in self-control is the subject, the one doing the controlling when in actuality, “self” is the object, the one being controlled. We know this to be true because Galatians 5:23 lists self-control as a fruit of the spirit, a by-product of our walking in dependence upon God. We are not strong enough to hold the reins of our desires, but God is. When it comes to self-control we need to repent of our bad grammar and self-reliance and allow God to do the work.
